Stress Baking and Snappiness

This week  the juggling did not work out so well and I found my plates slipping and shattering around me.  I struggle with a horrific perfectionist streak, which both helps and hinders me. If I can’t do it all in one week, I find myself wondering-why not? Just what is your problem? This was a particularly interesting and challenging week at work and I found myself exhausted and brain dead at the end of each day. Of course, I also recently started a new workout regimen, a blog, and a strict editing schedule for my completed book chapters. Needless to say, there was no possible way to get everything done.

          I pride myself on priority, so work and family commitments come first and then all the rest of it should fall into place, providing there are no bumps in the road-which there invariably are.  This weekend, I found myself stress baking( a terrible and delicious habit of mine) snapping at everyone and passively aggressively cleaning the whole house. I was mad at myself because I blew my remaining weekly Weight Watchers points on a two tier layer cake, grumpy with my husband for well, everything under the sun and frustrated that I had let my writing fall way behind schedule. This week, I only finished three pages of writing when my normal output is ten to twelve pages a week.

          Everything came to a head last night. We had gone as a family to attend the annual anniversary party of a local restaurant and brewery. There was a ton of people and a live bluegrass band with a whole army of kiddos dancing their hearts out in the front. Yes, it was loud and crazy but the kiddos were having a blast. I was so entrenched in my foul mood that I failed to enjoy the adorable silliness of a whole group of munchkins dancing around and bumping into each other and just having a moment of sheer kid joy.

          This morning, I realized that I need to let go and just relax. Enjoy the messy, imperfection of the moment and laugh when it all goes wrong. I am not superwoman. I do not always need to be right or perfect. My goal for the next couple months of this crazy journey is to breathe, dance my heart out when the opportunity presents itself and just enjoy the damn cake!